11 Funny Vasectomy Gifts For The Man Who's About To Go Under The Knife

Here are 11 funny gifts to give someone having a vasectomy. Each of these funny gifts will put a smile on his face and remind him that you care about his health and decision.

vasectomy recovery
Recovering after vasectomy

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How we choose:

A vasectomy is a big decision, but it's also a topic of humor.

If you know someone who's about to go through the procedure, why not give them a gift that will make them laugh? Our selection of funny vasectomy gifts is sure to put a smile on his face.

We know that recovering from surgery can be tough, so we've made sure to include some useful and practical items in our collection. From snacks to socks, we've got everything you need to make him feel better during this time.

We read thousands of reviews to come up with a well-varied list of gifts for his nuts.

Order your gift today!


Vasectomy Balloons

Sorry about your balls

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Why it’s on the list:

If he's ready to part ways with his swimmers,  get the vasectomy party started with balloons – a great way to make his vasectomy special, unique, and most importantly…fun!

With six hilarious sayings including "Snip, Snip, Hooray!" and "100% Juice No Seeds", these aren’t your ordinary everyday balloons.

Plus,  these balloons make for a great backdrop for getting photos of the day on social media.

Each balloon inflates up to 12 inches - a perfect way to create just the right atmosphere!

From Reviews:


Husband loved these

  • Hilarious
  • They blew up well


  • Deflated after a day
  • The writing was coming off

Tuff nuts ice pack

Tuff Nuts Ice Pack

Not Frozen Peas

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Why it’s on the list:

It's a patent-pending new way to recover after a vasectomy, complete with 2 sided application for extended use.

Forget saggy old frozen peas and say goodbye to the frustration associated with finding a comfortable fit.

Oh, and best of all? Tuff Nuts is reusable, leak-proof, and doctor-recommended—perfect for post-vasectomies.

Plus, he can use it for combating all sorts of fun and wild things including kidney stones, ringworm(the human type), syphilis, and more!

From Reviews:


  • The best of all the ice packs I used
  • Helped me get through a few days after the vasectomy
  • More expensive but better than a bag of peas from the freezer


  • Wasn’t comfortable; liked frozen peas better
  • Wasn’t cold enough for the boys
  • Not Flexible

Funny Cupcake toppers

Vasectomy Cupcake Toppers

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Why it’s on the list:

Why not celebrate the big snip with a cupcake-filled gift basket?

These handmade decorations from the USA are perfect for a vasectomy party or just a yummy treat in honor of someone getting a vasectomy.

12 whopping pieces include two peanuts wearing bandages, two RIP sperm, two “Balls Voyage” suitcases, two snip snip scissors, and two “Shooting Blanks”

Show your support for the man who bravely decided to go ahead and retire his swim team with hilarious cupcakes!

They will be sure to leave him laughing!

From Reviews;


  • Everyone at the party laughed
  • So cute
  • Looked great on the cupcakes


  • Cheap looking
  • Didn’t get the right ones
  • Bad quality

Gag DIY vasectomy kit Box

DIY Vasectomy Gag Gift Box

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Why it’s on the list:

Who wouldn't giggle at the thought of having a DIY Vasectomy at Home?

The box lists the makings of an incredible care package: free bottle of bourbon, a patented red scrotum holder, two small band-aids, magnifying glass, a stapler, scalpel, shaving razor, and a stunning 1,441 page “how-to-manual”.

Thanks to The Gag DIY Vasectomy Kit Box you can now say goodbye to boring plain boxes, bags, or wrapping paper—and hello to a good joke.

Pro tip: Measure the gifts you are putting inside the box to make sure they will fit. The measurements of the box are: 11.5” tall, 9.25” wide and 4” deep.

From Reviews:


  • Huge hit
  • Worth the money
  • Loved her reaction


  • Just a gift box
  • Flimsy
  • The Box is too busy

Happy nuts cream

Happy Nuts Cream

Natural Ingredients made in USA

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Why it's on the list:

Once he has the all-clear to carry on and not get anyone pregnant, he wants to feel good and smell fresh, right?

This game-changing cream gives unparalleled comfort in between his legs, absorbing sweat and leaving an anti-friction layer that keeps him feeling dry and smelling fresh—even if he didn't just jump out of the shower!

Plus, it's formulated using natural ingredients and manufactured right here in the USA, so you can trust that it's safe to use.

From Reviews:


  • My husband has happy balls when he uses this
  • Have the confidence to join a dating app
  • Bought as a joke but he loved the product


  • Sticky hands after applying
  • The scent isn’t strong
  • Didn’t keep me dry

Nuts Gift basket

Damn Man Nuts

Gift Box with Jerky and Nuts

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Why it’s on the list:

A vasectomy is a life-changing decision, and usually, one that calls for celebration.

What better way to recognize this occasion for your special guy than with Damn Man Nuts? The name alone is on point.

Packed with high-quality proteins, these unique nut mixes are sure to keep him feeling full and energized long after his procedure.

Plus, with three different jerkys available, there's something for everyone!

For added convenience, all of the goodies come packaged together in an attractive box which is perfect for gifting!

This is the perfect gift for him to enjoy while sitting on the couch watching the tournament.

From Reviews:


  • Husband and kids loved the mixed bags
  • Tasted excellent and impressed with the look
  • Dad loved it


  • Expensive for what you get
  • Tasted good but small amount
  • Has too much MSG

At least you don’t have to wear a cone candle

At least you don't have to wear a cone candle

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Why it’s on the list:

It’s funny,  but also useful, which makes a great vasectomy gift for the man who could use some extra relaxation and stress relief.

Not only is the fragrance soothing, and has 50 hours of burn time, but it is also earth-friendly and reusable – after the candle has been used up, he can simply wash out the jar to make a great planter or a container for his nuts (and bolts).

This funny candle is a perfect gift idea for any post-vasectomy man.

From Reviews:


  • So funny
  • It's cute and the lavender smells nice


  • Expensive for the size
  • Candle arrived broken

I’m nuts about you Sack Pack

I'm Nuts about You Sack Pack

Ballsy Sack Pack for Nuts

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Why it’s on the list:

Show him how much you appreciate what he’s doing for your family, by your interest in his balls.

This funny vasectomy gift is sure to bring a smile to his face as it contains all the essentials he needs during this time of recovery – Ballwash, Sack Spray, and Nut Rub.

The Nut Rub serves as a skin balm and cologne, perfect for soothing any soreness or discomfort from the snipping.

All of these items come conveniently packaged together in an attractive sack pack - making it an ideal present for any man who has undergone this important medical procedure.

From Reviews:


  • Great purchase for your junk
  • Smells great
  • It's a funny and practical gift
  • Husband loved it


  • The spray leaked all over
  • Didn't receive all the products
  • A small amount of product for the price

Hold my nuts socks

Hold My Nuts Socks

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Why it’s on the list:

Funny socks are all the rage right now, so go with the times and have them be about his nuts.

He might not actually want anyone to hold his nuts, but how cute will these socks look in the photo for social media while he's recovering?

Plus, laughter has been proven to reduce stress, improve mood, and even reduce pain levels - all of which can be useful during recovery from a vasectomy.

From Reviews:


  • Funny seeing professionals wearing these socks at work
  • Comfortable
  • A lot of people laughed when they saw my socks


  • Family members thought they were inappropriate
  • Didn't wash well

T-shirt "100% Juice No Seeds Shirt"

100% Juice No Seeds T-Shirt

Show off your new status

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Why it’s on the list:

There are a lot of shirts* with hilarious sayings about vasectomies, and guys love t-shirts, which makes it a great gift idea.

*This particular shirt had the most reviews so that's why we chose this one for the guide.

Not only does the phrase make it a funny reminder of his accomplishment, but the t-shirt comes in five different colors, so you can get him one that perfectly fits his style.

The t-shirt also fits up to 3XL, so no matter what size he is, you can find one that's comfortable and looks great.

From Reviews:


  • True to size
  • Great gift
  • My husband thought it was hilarious


  • Smelled weird but after washing was fine
  • No other cons were noted, but there wasn't a large sampling of reviews

"I hate everyone equally" whiskey glass

"I hate everyone equally" Whiskey Glass

Not just for after vasectomy-use year round

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Why it’s on the list:

Aren't these the perfect words after his vasectomy?

Whether your friend or loved one enjoys sipping scotch on the rocks or prefers an old-fashioned cocktail, this glass is perfect.

What's more, each whiskey glass comes packaged in a durable gift box and is backed by a 100% money-back guarantee.

From Reviews:


  • It's my favorite glass I own
  • It's a great size for the drink
  • Nice and sturdy


  • The print was hard to see
  • After washing the letters started coming off
  • Came shattered

FAQ- all things Vasectomies

What is a vasectomy?

A vasectomy is a surgery to cut the vasa deferentia, the tubes that carry sperm from the testicles to the urethra. This blocks the flow of sperm and makes it almost impossible for a man to get a woman pregnant.

It is a popular form of birth control because it is permanent, not expensive, and does not require taking any medication.

Recovery time is short, and most men report that they experience little or no discomfort after the surgery.

Vasectomies are 99% effective in preventing pregnancy.

Does a vasectomy hurt?

Yes, a vasectomy can be painful. The pain usually occurs when the local anesthetic wears off and is usually described as a sharp or burning sensation.

Some men also report a feeling of pressure or fullness in the scrotum.

Most men report that the pain is short-lived and dissipates within a few days.

Can you tell if a man has had a vasectomy?

There are a few ways to tell if a man has had a vasectomy.

One way is to look for the surgical scar on the scrotum.

Another way is to ask the man if he has had a vasectomy. If he says yes, and you want proof, ask to see his medical records.

Can a man who had a vasectomy still get a woman pregnant?

Yes. Vasectomies are considered to be permanent birth control methods, but they are not 100% effective.

There is a very small chance that sperm can still escape the blocked tubes and cause pregnancy.

Additionally, pregnancies can sometimes occur after vasectomies if the tubes grow back together over time.

For these reasons, it is important for men who have had vasectomies to use another form of contraception (such as condoms) until their doctor confirms that the tubes have healed and pregnancy is no longer a risk.

Does a vasectomy last forever?

A vasectomy is a permanent form of birth control. The tubes that carry sperm are cut or blocked, so sperm can't get into the semen. It's a popular and effective method of contraception.

However, a man can have a vasectomy reversed if he changes his mind, but the likelihood of the reversal being successful decreases with each year that has passed since the vasectomy was performed.

What are the possible side effects of a vasectomy?

There are several potential side effects of having a vasectomy:

  • You may experience pain or swelling in your scrotum after the surgery. This usually goes away within a few days.
  • You may have occasional pain or discomfort in your testicles. This is usually mild and doesn't last long.
  • There's a small risk of bleeding or infection after the surgery.

How much does a vasectomy cost?

It typically costs between $350 and $1,000 to get a vasectomy. The cost may be higher if the surgery is performed in a hospital or other medical facility.

Some health insurance plans may cover all or part of the cost of a vasectomy, while others may not cover it at all. It's important to check with your insurance carrier before undergoing a vasectomy to find out what, if any, coverage you have.

You can also inquire about special discounts available from various providers.

What is the most common time of year to get a vasectomy?

There's a reason why March is called vasectomy season, and that is The NCAA basketball tournament.

It's a popular time to schedule a vasectomy. Because they will be required to take it easy for a few days many men find this a great opportunity to be able to watch basketball and chill with their friends. (eating nuts and drinking whiskey)

December is also another busy vasectomy month. It's a great way to use up your HSA balance, and an excuse to take some downtime during the holidays.


A vasectomy can be a scary thing for men. That’s why it's helpful to provide a little bit of humor.

With so many options available, you should have no trouble finding a great present for the soon-to-be post-op guy in your life.

Whether it’s a humorous t-shirt to wear around town or something to cool his package, he’s sure to appreciate any of these gifts.

Happy Shopping!